You don’t think about it too much. You just do it. Is it the guilt, is it the shame? By the time you start to think about it, binging is in full force. You feel like crying out in anger and frustration, but it doesn’t help at all. And then comes the purging. Relieving, addictive as hell with no way to stop it once it starts going. Are you sick? Are you damaged beyond repair? You don’t know, you don’t care, but the guilt and shame pile up due to which you binge again and the cycle repeats itself.
How did you get here? Was it ‘friendly’ advice? Did that guy tell you were FAT? You just couldn’t stand looking at yourself in the mirror? It doesn’t matter, because the end result is still the same. It’s an endless Vicious Cycle Of Bulimia from which you can’t step out.